What Movies Should We Watch? (I struggle with lust of the flesh.)

 

Question:

Seeing that you are into movies, I want to ask which movies are appropriate for my family and which are appropriate to watch as a couple. I am struggling with lusts of the flesh and I need to read some good material, how to fight and maintain purity?

Response:

You ask great questions about movies, lust of the flesh, etc. However, I don’t think I can answer most of your questions . . . and probably no one else can either—except Jesus and your wife. I’m speaking very sincerely now. I also struggle with these things.

When the Bible speaks of the “lust of the flesh,” I suspect that it’s usually speaking of the ego—ironically the ego is often fed by the creation of “laws” and regulations around sexual desire. For instance, a man can make a law that he’ll never watch R rated movies, then feel proud of himself, while lusting after women in PG-13 movies and condemning those that watch R rated movies.

No matter what, we are commanded to not “look on a woman with lustful intent.” What exactly does that mean? Are we to have no sexual desire? I don’t think it means that, or we would never “be fruitful and multiply.” I do think it means that my desires are to be directed toward my wife only, and in a way that does not turn her into a mere object of consumption. I am to “rejoice in the wife of my youth.”

Well, these are questions of the heart and the line between fulfilling the command and violating the command is one that may constantly move and exists in the depths of my soul with Jesus. For me, it’s been very important to simply expose all my desires to Jesus in prayer and then, talk about them openly with my wife. My job and her job is to cover each other’s shame.

My second book on Genesis is titled God and His Sexy Body, the story of Adam and His Bride. Many people seem scared to read it because of the word “sexy,” but it is all about God’s design for sexuality and how this taps into deep and wonderful truths about God and us. We are Christ’s Bride and can only be fruitful by submitting to His intimate presence—communion in the sanctuary of the covenant of Grace.

God does not hate sexuality; He made it and delights in it as a reference to the relationships that constitute Heaven. Satan hates sexuality and so he constantly tries to destroy it through sexual sins, as well as the hatred of sexuality that results from wounding through its abuse.

Regarding movies etc. for your kids, only you can make that call as well. I think it’s important to inquire about the things presented in a movie before showing it to your kids. I’ll often reference a film and say, “I don’t recommend watching this with your family.” We all want to protect our kids, but media is everywhere. Talking about these things with them may be the best defense.

Scripture certainly isn’t shy about sexuality. But you obviously wouldn’t want to explain the details of David and Bathsheba’s relationship to a five-year-old. Well, once again, this requires knowing your children well, dependence on Christ in you, and a bunch of prayer.

Hope that helps!

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